Week 4--No Easy Answers

"Why don't you just pray about it?"

"I never let that bother me!  I know what the Word of God says!"

"All you have to do is have enough faith..."

"What do you mean you have trouble obeying the Bible? Just do it!"

These responses are examples of spiritualizing, and it's guaranteed to shut down the person who is sharing from his or her heart their deepest struggles and challenges.  Spritualizing minimizes the problem--and the person--by reducing their issues with an overly simplified response that's pre-packaged Christian gab.  Spiritualizing pretends that there are simple answers to complex issues.  And spiritualizing lazily brushes off the speaker by glossing over the pain and trauma behind the action, challenge, or issue.

Stop spiritualizing immediately!  Once you explain how damaging it is, be alert to the person who wants to demonstrate his/her spiritual superiority.  Don't allow it to persist or else you will discourage others from sharing honestly from their hearts. 

One way to demonstrate how spiritualizing discourages others is to role play.  Select two people and ask them to sit opposite one another in the middle of the circle.  (Did I mention that the best way to sit for your small group is in a circle?)

Ask one to "share" a story about being molested as a child, and as a result they now struggle with sexual promiscuity.  Instruct the listener to spiritualize.  Reverse roles.  Debrief by discussing how each person felt when sharing and when spiritualizing.  Invite the group to offer phrases that might be examples of spiritualizing like, "I'm blessed and on top , praise the Lord!"